Wanted: Daddies

The other day we went to the park with some friends. Nathan had off in the morning, and he came along too. We were the only ones there, except for a mom and her four kids; 3 little girls and a baby boy. All the kids were running around playing and the mom was sitting at the picnic table texting on her phone. Nathan was helping our kids go across the monkey bars and playing with them, as usual, when the three little girls showed-up at the monkey bars too. They stood there, reaching-up, and Nathan said, "Do you want to go across too?"

Once he helped one of them, all three of them jumped and giggled and wanted to go across too. As they were playing, they kept saying, "Do it again Daddy. Help me, Daddy!" They were talking to my husband. A strange man they had never met before, who was merely helping them across the monkey bars. I can't even write this without crying, it breaks my heart so much.

Can you imagine needing a Dad that much, that you desperately cling to any male figure that shows you a drop of kindness? You know, we are all internally wired with that need - ESPECIALLY girls. It might seem strange, as I usually think that boys need their dads to teach them to be men, and girls need their moms to teach them to be women. That is definitely true, but the need of a girl to have a loving, strong man in her life can be seen so clearly through scientific and psychological research.

When I heard that those little girls called Nathan "Daddy", I immediately thought about a few chapters I had read in "Bringing Up Girls" by Dobson. Through this own personal research, and with the help of other psychological studies, Dr. Dobson says that, "A daughter's sense of self-worth and confidence is linked directly to her relationship with her dad." Much of this can be scientifically proven through looking at how the female brain works; how we are so relational, so observant, so connected to everything in our world from birth. Girls grow-up loving feminine things, but they also need love, protection and an example of what being "male" means as well. Most of all women want to be loved, and who will do that first and most, but Daddy (and Mommy too).

It is amazing to think all that fathers do. I had a great Dad who I remember being a provider, an excellent moral example to me, a supporter of my pursuits and a snuggler at night. He wasn't perfect, but then neither am I. I know I am beyond blessed with the father I have for my children, and I can thank my father-in-law for the great example that he was to Nathan. Never have I seen such a loving, attentive, and pro-active man as my husband.

But, just think if that wasn't there. If my little girl didn't have someone to show her how a mommy should be treated and loved - what would she come to expect from her future mate? What if she didn't have a father to support her and give her physical and emotional love as she developed - how early would she go out into the world looking for that love? What if she didn't have a man protecting her, physically and emotionally, from enemies and traps along the way - imagine how quickly she would become overridden with problems and lose respect for herself.

Girls (and boys) need Daddies. The problem is, there just aren't enough to go around.

ps - This is NOT meant in anyway to exclude the important of, or responsibility belonging to, mothers in a family too. As much as men need to step into their roles of Dads, women need to be responsible parents and supportive wives as well. Isn't it amazing how the whole "family" things works together so well?