Savoring the time

I absolutely love my children. They are so precious, so beautiful, so sweet and innocent. I really feel like God has been teaching me that I can and I should enjoy my children right now.

I have to admit that I have not been very good at this in the past. I think that partiall, it is very hard to have infants and those first few months (or years) are extremely rough. It's just a fact, and most parents would agree and understand. I also think that I have a tendency to focus on doing things and getting chores done and accomplishing goals. Then I often get to the end of the day and realize that I have barely played with my kids, or even read them a book. Or I might even end the day being annoyed with my children instead of thanking God for them - even if it WAS an annoying day. :)

Maybe this lesson that God has been teaching me is part of the reason why I didn't put Lydia into a preschool. I couldn't be happier that she is home with me for this year. Of course, this makes me wonder if I should homeschool and have her home all the time; but I do think there is a difference in that thinking. I don't want to discuss the homeschooling thing now, but there is a time and place to start letting go. That doesn't mean that I won't appreciate them or love my children just as much.

I also feel like God wants me to pray for myself, that I will enjoy this next baby more than I ever have. I am not an infant person - sorry, I am just not wired that way. But this might be the last time we have an infant, and either way, it is a very special time and blessing from God. I don't want to forget what each of my precious children are like as I have a newborn, a five year old and a three year old. I want to enjoy each of their personalities and special talents that may only last for a few months at a time. I plan to take Lydia  and Luke on a few dates before the baby comes and just enjoy time with them.

Most of all, I want to be remember that these children are not mine. I heard a speaker say that the other day, quite emphatically, and it really made me think. These children are not mine - they were not mine from the moment of conception. They are not mine as they are born and live and get sick and are healthy and go to school.....amongst shooters and bullies and enemies of God....they are not mine at all. They are simply a gift from God that I should take care of. I want to love them and take care of them the best that I can - and I need prayer and God's help to do that.