I have been very challenged over the past week or so as I have thought about children, and what value they are to our society. These thoughts have been brought about as I hear stories from Nathan and when I observe children in desperate need of parenting and love. Of course, being only a few weeks away from adding another child into our family has also made me aware of some of these questions. I do not claim to always have a child-loving attitude, and I certainly have those times when I want to be released from the burden and hard work of being a parent. Although I think a certain part of that is a natural feeling, it is also selfish. And I really think that this is a kind of pervasive attitude in our country; one which is causing far-reaching problems.
I just listened to a Focus on the Family broadcast about the call of motherhood, and I think the speaker very succinctly summed up the general feeling about children (this referenced the US - and this is a generalization) by saying (and I paraphrase): If we start by looking at the abortion laws in our country, we see that they basically say "children are a burden, and you can do whatever necessary to release yourself from that burden. Then we continue to encourage young men and women to focus on me, me, me; my job, my life, my marriage, my travel. Children are less important than what we want to do with our lives, beneath the money that we need to buy clothes, go on vacation, or have a nice house. Children are less important than when we just want to sit and pick our toes, because we can choose to do that if we want to."
These comments really seemed to describe the sad observations I have made as I look around me at families and children. The other day Luke and I went to the park and there was another little girl there. She was probably between eight and ten years old. She was completely alone, never said hi to us, and she just played by herself. No one ever came to see if she was ok or to play with her. When I go to the park I am almost always accosted by children who want desperately for me to watch them and pay attention to them. Granted, sometimes they are just super friendly children that do have caring parents right there with them; but usually their parents are on the phone, smoking on a bench or just sitting dully, not paying an ounce of attention to their kids who are literally begging for attention.
Once this past week Nathan dealt with a mother that didn't even know where her children were - although she claimed she watched them from the window - they were walking around the apartment complex alone, trying to find something to play with. They were five and two years old. Another time he talked with "parents" that were so concerned about themselves and their problems and their personal issues that they couldn't hear their two year old asking for "juice" - which she did for a solid 15 minutes and then she just gave-up and sat quietly listening to their vulgar swearing.
You may think these are extreme cases, but I am starting to think that the extreme parents are the ones that actually try to love and care for their kids. Don't think all the "bad" parents come from one part of the city, or are from one social or economic group. You can observe the lack of sacrificial love and purposeful parenting in schools, offices, churches, and yes - even in your friends' homes. How many times have we complained about having kids - not the daily routine things that do cause stress, but the overall purpose of even having children. How often do we say we just can't wait to have them grow-up and be out of the little kid stage? Or how often do we wish for more time to do what we want and think is the best for our lives while ignoring the needs of our children?
I have become convicted that I need to work on my attitude toward my own children, as well as my attitude about families and children in general. Children are undeniably a blessing from the Lord; one which many many people want but cannot have. And, just like many many things in life, the things that are most worth having cost the most sacrifice to have. I want to ask God how I can be used to encourage mothers and families around me, and also in what way I can love the children I see in my community. I think this is not only a Biblical idea, but also a command.
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