My daughter has become a super girly girl over the past few months. I know, I know, some of you are saying, "just over the past few months?" But being beautiful and looking perfect really has become an obsession with her. She asks to use my lipgloss and make-up every time I get ready to go somewhere. She wants to pick out her clothes, her hair stuff, her shoes, her undies - and if I make her wear something she doesn't favor, she says it "doesn't look beautiful on me". She will protect her hair like it's a third arm, and if it does get messed-up she asks, "does my hair still look ok?" She is only almost 3, and she already cares SOOOO much about her appearance.
Where does this come from?? Yes, some of you are asking me to look in the mirror - and I have certainly considered this. I am a pretty type-A personality kind of person, and I catch myself fixing my hair (and her hair), wiping up spills (and cleaning her face), and in general, trying to keep up a good appearance. There's nothing terribly wrong about this, but I could see how it would rub off on her and create some appearance issues.
Or, is it us - Nathan and I - and the ways that we talk to her: "oh, you look like a princess!", "you are beautiful", "what a pretty dress are you wearing today?" We certainly spend a lot of time reading about princesses (Disney makes a killing off of little girls!), and playing pretend, doing dress-up and make-up...on everyone...but then again, isn't that normal for little girls? Is it nurture or is it nature? We may provide a pink, girly environment for her to grow in, but I believe she was also created with a desire to be beautiful, to be precious to those around her. God has clearly created men and women differently, and I believe that's a healthy thing!
I guess we've just realized that, even at 3 years old, we need to start focusing on inward beauty. I hate to even throw that phrase out there, because it seems so cliche, but it's true. God, and even most people, care much more about character, love, respect, and godly virtues than outward appearance. And those traits certainly do not fade with time - whereas beauty... well... it does for everyone. We don't know quite how to talk with a 3 year old about these deep thoughts, but we are starting the process already. We are trying to focus less on asking her how she looks or if she wants some perfume spray, and more on how she's loving her brother or friends. We've had chats about how no one can look perfect all of the time, but Jesus doesn't care about that. He wants us to love others. And you should hear her responses......oh man. I think we have a long way to go. But it's a start. :)
Thanks for the post. I think this is applicable whether you are 3 or 33. Although my wife's outward beauty may fade if we have the privilege of entering old age together, her inward beauty will be a delicacy that only improves with age. A woman is like an onion who possesses many layers. I find myself loving my wife more and more each day not by how she wears her hair but by how she touches my soul and how we venture together on this journey with Christ as our center. Thanks again for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteI think you are on the right track. It's probably just a phase that girls go through. Guess we'll find out when Hannah gets older :)
ReplyDeleteOur kids are never to young to start talking about the tough stuff that God wants us to do. Lydia is such a sweet girl, and I'm certain that soon her "heart" will be just as beautiful as she is!